Road Rash of My Tangled Heart

I am currently involved on a study of James. The majority of what we have read focus on hard times, the heart and the tongue. God has been speaking to me greatly and encouraging me into action. I would like to share the verses that He is using in my life.

James 1:19-20 NASB
 "This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."

James 3:3-5 NASB

 "Now if we put the bits into the horses' mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue  is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire. And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell."

James 3:14-18 NASB

 "But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in you heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthy, natural (sensual), demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits (see Galatians 5:22-23), without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

    God has been reminding me of the power of words. I quite often let my words get the best of me. Many times my mouth doesn't point to God, rather it points to the weaknesses in my heart. My attitude needs to be like Jesus, and I fall very short of Him. Keeping my snappy thoughts in, and asking God to change my heart is proving to be a struggle. My personal nature often overrules God's desire for my choices and the unpleasing worlds rush out of my mouth. Yet, I know with Him nothing is impossible. He will never give up on me no matter how many hundreds of times a day I fail. I praise Him for His unfailing grace and mercy that I so desperately need!

  He is also working in me to follow His will. He is comforting me that the lack of His presence results in ciaos. Disorder is a sign of human nature being in control. When I surrender something to God, that area will be filled with peace and goodness. This is guaranteed because He is pure and gentle. Why do I daily choose ciaos over peace? Why do I think I know better then my Creator and Savior? Comfort in in surrendering to His loving plan for my steps, words and actions. There is a constant battle with in me between my human nature and the Spirit of God. Thankfully, Jesus already won that battle. In reality, I simply need to let go and celebrate in His victory by living a life of faith. Why is the simple so hard? The following verse explains this spiritual battle.

Galatians 5:16-25 NLT  

"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. 
Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 
The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants.
 And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. 
These two forces are constantly fighting each other, 
so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 
But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: 
sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility,
quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, 
dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. 
Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not 
inherit the Kingdom of God.

 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: 
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 
There is no law against these things!

 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.  
Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives."

Words by Hawk Nelson

I'm A Little Tea Cup

    Recently, at Bible study, we took a step back to be led by God. We each smashed a lovely tea cup against the unforgiving patio, in a harmony of chimes.  These battered beauties undoubtedly needed love. So, we took them in and assessed the damage. Through this we were called to reflect on our life and pray. This simple task elevated to His holy stage. What loving insight did He want to share tonight?
    Imagining my life as a tea cup was very fitting. I once was innocent and whole, but I am broken. I have fallen. I have made bad choices. I have had bad intentions. I have fell short of His perfect plan for my life. I tried many times to pull the pieces of my life together, but I only have two hands. I can only hold a few pieces at a time. I can't love others as God loves me, while holding tight to my past, present and future. How can I run well with my arms full of doubt, shame, disappointment, and regret? I have spun and smashed my tea cup through life, with my limited understanding of my value in God's eyes.
    My self-service was what shattered my tea cup.  In an attempt to build my own life truths, I encouraged new cracks. Some of my choices hit me so hard, slivers of me have been completely destroyed. I will never be able to rebuild my life.  My original shape has been ruined by my own agenda. 
     Unknowingly, I developed comfort in my ways. There are areas in my life God desires to restore. Some of them I am unaware of. I am naive to many of my jagged edges. However, there are others I don't want changed. After all, it's not that bad, right? Nope. God is completely perfect. Even one scratch tarnishes perfection. None is better or worse than the other in God's eyes. While there are some cracks God is working on healing, now. Praise be to Him that there are some He has healed. Relationships have been restored. Stress and anxiety has been confronted. Doubts have been removed. Frustrations and anger have left my heart. He is freeing me from myself through His soothing love.
    Temptation often gets the best of me. Frequently, while He is mending me, I fall back into my own desires. Sometimes it is habit and I unintentionally repeat it again. In other cases, I resist healing because I don't want to deal with it yet. I'm not ready to change. Satan knows my weak spots. He plays dirty. There is no low-blow he won't inflict. He is always there to put thoughts in my head to pull me into my own pleasures and away from God. He convinces me it is no big deal. I can always change later. In the mean time, he intends to crack me more. 
    Jesus died to be the glue that holds my shards in place. No matter what Satan does to break me, he will never beat my Savior. I believe Jesus paid for my life with His selfless example of surrender and love. He loved me by giving up His life for me. When I acknowledge my need for Jesus' sacrifice before God, and ask to be forgiven for making choices against His will, He immediately removes that burden from me. He forgives without question. Jesus died so that I could be forgiven. "He personally carried (my) sin in His body on the cross so that (I) can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds (I am) healed" 1 Peter 2:24 edited NLT.   Jesus holds me together, freeing me to run with ease and joy.   
    Through meditating on my life, through gluing this simple tea cup back together, God revealed to me His faithful love. I have made mistakes. He knows I will continue making mistakes until I die, but He still loves me.  I need to let Him make me new.  He is not finished with me yet.   I  need to let go, trust and embrace His plan. "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts'. " Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT. My understanding is very limited.  I need to seek hard after His plans and trust Him, through faith, that He knows best. Living for Jesus means a life of faith. To live outside of myself is only something God can make possible. I can not save myself. I can not free myself from the confusion and shifting ways Satan uses to trap me but He can! I have to let Him in, to change me from the inside out. 
   I will always need more refining to be made more like Him. It won't be easy, but it will be a blessing. Romans 5:3-5 (NLT) encourages me in saying "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."  I have gaps, overlaps and holes. God sees my imperfections and faithfully works on me.  As long as I live I will have cracks. I won't be made completely whole until I reach Heaven. However, the openings are not bad. In fact they are a blessing! He fills my cup with His love and it pours out through the cracks in my broken life and out into the world around me.
    God's spirit compels me to share how Jesus has and is changing me from the inside out. To explain the changes in my life, I have to openly share where I have been and the ways I went wrong. Those are my cracks. But Jesus saved me from my past! I am continually being transformed and I pray I will continue to embrace His healing grace. I will never look at a tea cup or a person the same again. God has softened my heart with His love yet again.