Earlier, she describes Satan's strategy against our focus this way: "He disguises himself and manipulates your perspective so you end up focusing on the wrong culprit, directing your weapons at the wrong enemy (2 Corinthians 11:14) (Page 15)." Carry this in your mind as I tell you about my realizations.
This chapter begins, "If I were your enemy, I'd disguise myself and manipulate your perspectives so that you'd focus on the wrong culprit-your husband, your friend, your hurt, your finances, anything or anyone except me. Because when you zero in on the most convenient, obvious places to strike back against you problems, you get the impression you're fighting for something. Even though all you're really doing is just...fighting. For nothing (Page 39)."
I began reading this chapter thinking my focus isn't really that bad. I know Satan is out there, behind the curtain, manipulating events, people and perceptions. However, it wasn't until I began praying that I saw two ways he has been pulling my attention and energy into wasted space. Inside I've been stewing and brewing on the nearest and most obvious frustrations and irritations in my life. As an unintended consequence I've let that enter in my marriage by taking out my emotions on my undeserving husband. I've underestimated Satan's scheming in my life. I've been giving him exactly what he wants.
Priscilla points out two key ways we allow Satan to gain ground in our lives. We are either "wasting precious time and energy that ought to be reserved and refocused on the real enemy" or we are "trying to fight ferocious spiritual forces by using weapons that don't faze them in the least-weapons that aren't even designed to hurt them (Page 43)". Prayer is the tool God has given us to open our eyes to where our focus has been misdirected.
My prayer life has always been weak if it existed at all. So far, this book is showing me that has been a great mistake. I've come to realize I've been pretty full of myself. I've assumed I've got my assets covered. Whatever comes my way I can handle. Now I'm beginning to see that I haven't been fighting the source, only the symptoms.
It has come to my attention that I've let two people really get under my skin in the last week. I've been so irritated the only action, besides stewing on my feelings, I've taken is inaction. I don't think it is a coincidence both of these people are not Christians.
How clueless am I? Of course Satan wants to weaken that bond. He wants to discredit God through my faults. As a bonus Satan has used my emotions to sneak attack my marriage. I've been so on edge I've been snapping at Justin and giving unwarranted attitude. Marriage is another obvious place for Satan to want to inflict damage on. I have been so blind to the chaos I've been hosting. I've allowed my focus to be sabotaged.
In light of realizing this today I've asked this of God:
"Lord, please take back the ground I lost. Give me the courage to follow Your plays. Grant me Your discernment to be wise. Give me the right words to say, especially to _____. Please give me patience where I lack it (which is clearly many places). Help me to be diligent, pushing hard to build up spiritual strength. Restore and upgrade my focus that it would be laser-like. Help me take my focus, attention and emotional energy off of the people and circumstances I've been directing it at. Unveil my eyes to be aware of the real Enemy as you warn us about in Ephesians 6:12. The fight is not against what is seen but what is unseen."
So, here I am. Day two. Small progress has been made, perhaps big, I'm not sure yet. I do know change is in the works and that's not what Satan wants. I welcome your prayers along this journey. I intend to rock the boat my life is in all the while knowing with my focus on Jesus I can walk on water, even during the strongest of storms.
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